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To: comic@superkids.com
Subject:  Say what?

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  The following are actual signs seen across the good ol' U.S.A.:
     
     At a Santa Fe gas station:  "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a 
     glass container."
     
     In a New York restaurant:  "Customers who consider our waitresses 
     uncivil ought to see the manager."
     
     On the wall of a Baltimore estate:  "Trespassers will be prosecuted to 
     the full extent of the law. -- Sisters of Mercy"
     
     In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:  "Don't kill your wife.  
     Let our washing machines do the dirty work."
     
     In a funeral parlor:  "Ask about our layaway plan."
     
     In a clothing store:  "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 
     necks."
     
     In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:  "15 men's wool suits, 
     $10.  They won't last an hour!"
     
     On a shopping mall marquee:  "Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced"
     
     Outside a country shop:  "We buy junk and sell antiques."
     
     In the window of an Oregon store:  "Why go elsewhere and be cheated 
     when you can come here?"
     
     In a Maine restaurant:  "Open 7 days a week and weekends."
     
     On a radiator repair garage:  "Best place to take a leak."
     
     In the vestry of a New England church:  "Will the last person to leave 
     please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."
     
     In a Pennsylvania cemetery:  "Persons are prohibited from picking 
     flowers from any but their own graves."
     
     On a roller coaster:  "Watch your head."
     
     On the grounds of a public school:  "No trespassing without 
     permission."
     
     On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners:  "38 years on the same 
     spot."
     
     In a Los Angeles dance hall:  "Good clean dancing every night but 
     Sunday."
     
     In a Florida maternity ward:  "No children allowed."
     
     In a New York drugstore:  "We dispense with accuracy."
     
     In the offices of a loan company:  "Ask about our plans for owning 
     your home."
     
     In a New York medical building:  "Mental Health Prevention Center"
     

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